Do you have an annoying problem that you can’t quite seem to solve? It happens to all of us. What do you do then?
3 Options
The first option is to do nothing. This choice guarantees you stay stuck.
The second option is to choose one of the ‘Stay Stuck and Be Miserable’ options listed below. We’ve all picked from this list at one time or another.
Ignore the problem.
Complain.
Believe there is no solution.
Get overwhelmed.
Give up.
Blame the problem on someone or something else.
None of these are a good choice.
The third option is to choose to do something that may help you get unstuck and go for it. Here is a list of the ‘Get Unstuck Options’.
Be open to possibilities.
Believe there IS a solution.
Figure out why what you tried didn’t work.
Observe those who are doing what you want to do.
Take a step.
Read a book.
Don’t give up.
Accept when something is not working and try something else.
Ask Questions
Throughout this process, you will continue to have to ask questions. To find a solution you need to find the right question to answer. My favorite initial question is ‘So Now What?’ What am I doing wrong? What isn’t working? What are they doing right? What am I not seeing? What other possibilities are there? What will be my next step?
Become good at asking questions. What have you got to lose? You’re stuck! Be creative. Look at it from someone else’s point of view. Get rid of any pre-conceived notions of what the solution will be. Forming the question is your first important step. Write it down. Make it specific enough for there to be an answer. Now you have something to measure.
When I was stuck with depression, the traditional solutions did not work. Asking questions became second nature because I was so desperate. Regardless of how crazy the solution seemed, I would listen and try it. It started by questioning whether my diet could be the problem. In the 90s, this seemed like voodoo, and I actually had a psychiatrist tell me what I ate had nothing to do with how I felt.
She was wrong.
Other things I tried included naturopathy, aromatherapy, vitamin supplements, eliminating dairy from my diet, not wearing any form of make-up for 2 years, listening to cassette tapes by a woman who had suffered agoraphobia, sitting by a light 30 minutes a day throughout the winter months, studying scriptures, reading books, looking for inspiration before social media, and SO much prayer.
Get Help
When you are stuck, it often takes an outside perspective to move you in the right direction. It’s so useful to have someone who is not involved in the situation or an expert in an area to give good advice. Throughout this process, I got help from many different sources including a Naturopath, a Life Coach, a Running Coach, and a Mental Health expert.
Each of these sources gave me steps to take that I had not considered. Their objective opinions and expertise were just what I needed. It was easier with their help. Some things worked and some did not. That is just the way life is. Every step, however, showed me that I was willing to try anything for my peace of mind. I would not give up.
Currently I use a Spiritual Mentor, a Strength Coach, and many experts who I follow on podcasts and YouTube. There is so much to learn. Listening to other perspectives is both interesting and empowering. And as an extra bonus, the cost of learning does not have to be expensive! There is so much information available for free.
Let It Go
If you have come to the end of your rope and there is nothing left to do, it’s time to let it go. Instead of holding on to being stuck, be free and move on.
Sometimes, we are not ‘stuck’ IN something, but we’re stuck TO it. We can be stuck TO trying to control things, TO wanting things to turn out a certain way, and TO forcing a conclusion. This is when it is time to just let it go. Decide you won’t be stuck by it anymore. Let things unfold. Let go of control.
Questions
Here are some questions from my workbook, So Now What? A Guided Workbook to Get Unstuck to help you figure out what to do when you don’t know what to do.
Describe a problem that you do not have a current solution to. If time or money were no object, how could you solve this problem?
What are some resources you could seek out to solve a problem you don’t know how to deal with?
What are some things you have tried to solve your problem? Do you know why they didn’t work?
Do you believe you can find the answer to your problems? If not, who can help you find the answer?
