Is anyone else exhausted?
Are you annoyed with inspirational sayings because it takes too much energy to feel inspired?
Are you trying to stay in the moment but the future looks too bleak to ignore?
Do you miss people so much but just can’t get up the gumption to set up another Zoom call?
There’s a reason you’re tired. These are difficult times. Things are hard right now.
But we can do hard things.
We can be inspired. We can be joyful in the present. We can set up virtual time with friends even though we don’t want to. The choice is ours.
Pre-pandemic, we dealt with problems like the extra 10 pounds we wanted to lose, a lack of motivation to leave a job we weren’t satisfied with, or how to stop being so darn busy.
Our problems now may be different, but they are pointing out our weaknesses which we’ve had all along. Under stress, our deficiencies come floating to the surface. Our lives have been put under a microscope and, for some of us, it doesn’t look so good.
How intentional we will be about our lives? What are we willing to do or give up, to have the life we want. Whether we are in feast or famine, each one of us gets to make our own choices.
This time is a good training ground.
Remember those 10 pounds? The number on our bathroom scale is just a sign. It’s not about our genetics or schedule. It’s about our choices. If you had figured out how to shed them, you’d be better at facing the next test. When we face our flaws and do something about them, the next challenge is easier.
Life is like that. You get through one thing and then the next one shows up. If we avoid the challenges in our lives, we aren’t getting away with anything. We’re simply keeping ourselves stuck with what we don’t want. We’re coddling ourselves to our detriment. Not facing our shortcomings assures that we drag them into our future.
And the future is here.
When we do difficult things, like diet and exercise ourselves into a healthier body, we face our deficiencies (or invest in ourselves). Yes it’s challenging but we can do hard things. Overcoming that hurdle assures we’re more able to deal with the next difficult thing that presents itself.
Because life isn’t done dishing out difficult circumstances.
If you’re not used to doing difficult things, now is the time to start. Instead of spending time grumbling about how tough things are, get busy and make some plans. What will you do about working at home with little ones under your feet? What will you do about your business that is closed? What will you do about that difficult relationship that is oh so much clearer in quarantine?
So Now What?
So - First get in touch with the reality of your situation. Spell it out. Write out bullet points. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Write it in a journal. Do whatever you need to do to understand it as clearly and objectively as you can. What is your reality?
Now - refers to the time frame. If you’ve had a crappy marriage for 10 years, fixing it in 2 weeks is not realistic. It will take some time. If you have no job, this exact second is the moment to do something about it. If your parent is dying, their body is determining how much longer it will last. What is the time frame?
What - will you do about it?
Notice I say “will”. This is an act of your will. It’s not “What should I do about it?”. Don’t should on yourself! Should requires there to be some standard out there that determines what is right for your life.
My mom says I should . . .
My boyfriend says I should . . .
My friends say I should. . .
Forget all of them. They’re not living your life. You are.
It’s also not “What can (could) I do about it?”. Can is a list of options.
I can do nothing
I can yell and scream
I can choose to ignore this
I can burn bridges
Can doesn’t move us. Can leaves us in limbo.
Will is an action. Will is a decision. Will is a resolution. What will you do about it?
Things are hard. Harder than ever before for many people. Uncertainty reigns. Finances are in jeopardy. Relationships are fractured.
So Now What?
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