There is one truth we all can live with.
It is true even if you don’t believe it.
Denying this truth will cause you all kinds of heartache.
Accepting it will make life easier.
Very few people face this truth.
Your mother may have led you astray by not telling you this truth.
But this is true for everyone.
Do you want to know what it is?
Not everyone is going to like you.
As much as your ego is arguing that this is not true, . . . it is.
Gravity will cause an apple to fall to the ground,
and not everyone is going to like you.
Humans need oxygen to survive,
and not everyone is going to like you.
The earth revolves around the sun,
and not everyone is going to like you.
Reasons
There are several very good reasons not everyone likes you.
First of all, every person has their own preferences. You are beautiful to some and ugly to others. Some may recognize you as smart and others consider you dumb. Your values can be admired by some people and despised by others. Our preferences define what we do and do not like. Not everyone’s preferences will align with you.
Secondly, it is impossible for everyone you meet to know you well enough to see all your charming qualities. They may simply get tripped up and not like you because of the way you vote, the color of your skin, or your appetite for sushi. Even if they did get to know you better, they may disagree with your values and not like you.
Third, and very importantly, if everyone likes you, you’re hiding something.
BTW, it’s natural to want people to like us.
But sometimes we pretend to like something. “Oh sure” you say, “I love Mexican food” when in fact, you don’t and you’d rather just have a burger. Pretending to enjoy something when you don’t is hiding the truth of who you are. It will mislead people into thinking you are someone you’re not.
BTW, we all fear rejection and work very hard to be liked.
You may distort the truth by saying, “no, your comment didn’t make me feel bad”. Instead of sharing how you really feel, you hide it. And the other person doesn’t know who you truly are.
BTW, hiding who we are is bad for both them and us.
What Can We Do About This?
How can we make this truth easy to live with? What will make it better?
First, realize that you don’t like everyone. This is true. You may want to get along with everyone, but that does not mean you like everyone. I don’t like people who degrade women, use their power to take advantage of others, or have spiders as pets. I will try to get along with them, but really, . . . spiders?
Then, accept that not everyone will like you. It’s quite freeing to swallow this fact. Instead of feeling bad about yourself every time someone disagrees with you, you can chalk it up to differences. We all have them.
And differences are common!
There are several alternatives to dealing with the fact that not everyone will like you. None of these are easy to live with:
You could try to change who you are each time someone doesn’t like you.
Unless you’re a chameleon, this is very tricky.
You could continue to be miserable every time someone doesn’t like you.
That would be sad.
You could deny that there is anything unique about you and defend yourself against anyone not liking you.
That would be like walking around with your dukes up.
You could continually point out what is wrong with others.
No one wants to be “that guy”.
You could keep trying to have everyone sing your praises.
That would be exhausting!
This leads to the final point which is the best remedy for this truth.
Be OK with who you are. Accept your peculiarities, your weaknesses, and your strengths. They are not like everyone else’s but are sometimes different. Instead of trying to gain the approval of others, be your true authentic self. This is all you will be good at anyway.
As you accept the uniqueness of yourself, you will also accept it in others. You can see their differences as just that. Something we don’t agree on. You don’t need to like it but you can accept it.
Just accept this truth,