When the reality of COVID19 began to become clear, many people rushed to the stores to buy up toilet paper in order to feel some control over the uncertainty surrounding the virus. Many of those who didn’t hoard toilet paper were heard complaining about those who did. Whichever side of the toilet paper argument you fall on, there’s help. The COVID-19 pandemic has us all under stress. I’ve found two tricks that have helped me manage my anxiety as I discuss it with others.
Listen
Although each of us has our own unique set of circumstances, every person is being impacted in some way. It’s difficult to get away from COVID19 as it dominates the media. In addition, our curiosity, fear, and the rapidly changing information compel us to continue to pay attention.
The good news about this pandemic is it is a shared experience.
Because we’re all in this together, I’ve found it helpful to listen to other people’s stories. Just listen, not fix it, give unasked for advice, or deliver rosy platitudes. It helps to simply be on the receiving end of stories. Everyone benefits when they are heard by another person. This is good for them.
And I have asked people listen to me. Talking about it has helped sort out my emotions. Often the simple act of talking about a difficulty serves to minimize its effect. This is a great time to verbalize our feelings to someone willing to listen. This is good for us.
Don’t Judge
We can be prone to make everything about us, especially in times of stress. When we do that we listen to another person’s experience and compare it to our own and form a judgment. What is helpful now is to listen to another person’s experience and hold yourself back from forming a judgment about the severity of their situation. This may a more difficult task, but it will be good for you.
Not forming judgments will reduce your stress. You will be free from their situation and any negative reaction you may have to it. If you hear words in your mind, spouting off at how ridiculous they’re being, make sure to not say those words out loud. This stops any negative feelings from pouring over the speaker. This will be good for them.
Believe me, you’ll feel better in a moment if you have not spread your discontent.
If you feel negative judgments about other people’s behavior, have a conversation in your mind. Ask yourself why you are so bothered by someone else’s opinion. Think of other possible reasons they are feeling in a way you don’t agree with. Are they scared and acting aggressive? What other stresses may they have that you don’t? Talk it out with yourself and come to a compassionate conclusion.
Blaming others for your unsettled feelings will not be good for you. It will get you stuck.
How can I help it?
Allow each person to go through this pandemic in their own way. No one will do it perfectly and no two people will see it and react exactly the same. Realize you are seeing this through your own lens and circumstances. Others see it through theirs. Be patient with each other as each of you feel different stress points.
This is a time we support each other instead of tearing each other down.
Listen. Don’t judge.
It will be good for them and good for you.