There’s a famous experiment referred to as The Marshmallow Test. Children were given one marshmallow and told if they could wait for a while, and not eat the marshmallow, they would get a second one because they waited. The researcher left the room, and the children were left to stare at the tasty treat. Some of the children waited for the reward of two marshmallows and others didn’t. They ate the marshmallow right in front of them.

It’s easy to understand, isn’t it?

The experiment followed up on the children in later years and concluded that the ones who had been able to delay gratification and wait for the second marshmallow had the skills to self-regulate and had became more successful in life. Those without self-regulation did not do as well in life.

Describe the Habit of Delaying Gratification

Delaying gratification is a good habit. It means saving for a car instead of taking out a loan. It means saving for vacations, the latest technology, and new clothes instead of paying for them on credit. If you can delay gratification, and save first before you buy. Not only do you save the interest charged by your credit card you learn a valuable skill to work towards something you want in the future instead of buying it NOW simply because you want it.

This isn’t just important with money. Some people have decided not to gratify their desire to eat whatever they feel like eating at every meal. They’re intentional about eating right most of the time and allow themselves to be unintentional some of the time. And it’s a good habit with time too. Although you may want to wake up and play every day, when you delay that desire and get your work done before you play, your life goes more smoothly. Another, more subtle, way to delay gratification is to hold your tongue. Instead of giving into your emotions, you delay gratification when you listen to others carefully and make intentional choices.

Some of us haven’t been forced to delay gratification during our lives. Over-indulgent parents who don’t want to see their children struggle, give them whatever they want. This doesn’t allow the child to develop the habit of waiting for what they need instead of grabbing what they want. Those with privlege are entitled to do things without working for it as much as others. Privlege doesn’t strengthen the muscles to delay gratification.

As children, we didn’t have the emotional capacity to regulate our impulses. But as we grow and mature, our brains and willpower make this easier. In addition to the growth of our brains and increased willpower, we can learn to think in a way that’s long-term. The more you practice this way of thinking, the easier it gets.

Delaying gratification starts with an intention. Unless you are aware of what you want in the long-term, you won’t be able to act accordingly. Delaying gratification shows up in may ways such as working on something instead of wasting time. It could be showing patience instead of being agitated,. Sometimes it’s investing instead of spending, or it could be accepting what you have instead of making bad choices to get what you want. As you delay gratification, you hang in there, moving towards your goals for the future.

Why is it a good habit to delay gratification?

Things that are valuable take an investment of time or money. We need to delay immediate gratification to get those things that have value to us. To learn to play the piano, something you might value, you’ll need to forgo something else (like watching TV, scrolling on social media, or playing outside) for a half an hour a day to practice piano. This little investment made over time will allow you to get what you want, playing piano.

Delaying gratification is a good habit because it enhances your emotional well-being as you exercise this self-discipline. Confidence develops around your ability to put in the time and effort it takes to reach your goals. Being in control of your thoughts and emotions is extremely empowering.

When you have the habit of delaying gratification, many things become easier. You are less apt to follow your immediate impulse and more likely to do what it takes to get to where you want to go. This can help in areas of physical health, mental health, and spiritual health.

You’ll make better decisions by delaying gratification. This will improve your life as you move away from instant rewards. Your focus on the long-term will improve your decision making as your consider the consequences of your choices. Your actions will closely align with your values and goals.

How can you form the habit of delaying gratification?

Start small. Let’s say you come home for lunch and impulsively eat the first thing you see in the refrigerator. Instead, ask yourself, “what do I want to eat so that I feel good this afternoon?” These small steps are the beginning of this good habit.
Write out your goals. Focusing on what you want to accomplish will define what you’ll need to do to get there. This will help you delay gratification so that you achieve your goals.
Understand what you value. When you know what’s valuable to you, it’s easy to make the right decisions to protect those things and avoid impulsive actions.
Stay in the moment. Instead of fearing for the future or responding to the past, staying in the moment will help you focus on what can and should be done right now to have the type of life you want.
Be aware of the emotions that invade your mind and cause you to act impulsively.
Celebrate your success! When you delay immediate gratification several times in a row, reward yourself for your new behavior.